Loss

I have written about loss before.  It seems to follow people around sometimes.  I’ve noticed in blogland other people who write about it as well, so at least I know it’s not just me. 

Last  year, my 5 year old was in pre school.  One of her teachers was blessed with a beautiful new baby granddaughter last November.  While in utero, an ultrasound diagnosed that the baby had hydrocephaly, which is fluid on the brain.  She was delivered and a shunt was placed.  A test showed the reason for the hydrocephaly.  There was a mass in her brain.  A biopsy showed it to be a rare form of brain cancer.  This beautiful little angel survived 10 months of this disease that she was born with.  Intense chemotherapy treatments that were somewhat of an experiment because it isn’t often that a newborn needs such a thing.  She had multiple surgeries and chemo treatments before and after the surgeries.  This little angel lost her battle on Thursday.  I didn’t know the family really well, but I’d followed frequently and kept tabs on how the little one was doing, and the teacher at Jennie’s preschool was one of my favorites, and I cared a lot for her.  I met this family one day at the park, not knowing right away who they were.  Jennie waws playing with their older son, and we got to talking, and then I realized who they were, and we talked a bit about her life and how beautiful she was.  I’m greatful for that opportunity where I was blessed to meet that sweet little angel.  My heart, however, aches so much for that family.  I can’t begin to imagine what they are going through.  It’s one thing to lose someone who has lived a little, as hard as that is also.  It’s another thing all together to know that there is a great chance your brand new baby could die any day from some horrifying disease.  I love God.  I just don’t understand his reasoning for things sometimes.  Maybe it’s not for me to know, or maybe I’m too stubborn to see the meaning behind it. 

LOOKIE HERE!  A POST! 

 It’s been CUH RAZY around here the last month or so!  My sister’s daycare provider had a new baby, so I had my niece here for a week at the beginning of August.  That was a lot of fun!  We don’t get to spend enough time with her, so I’m glad we had that opportunity.  However, four kids, all age 6 and under? EXHAUSTING!  Then all the back to school preparations.  We have a new kindergartener among us now, as well as a first grader.  School is old hat now for Jessica, who has settled right into the first grade like she’s been there for years.  Jennie, on the other hand, … well, I’m a bit worried about her.  She doesn’t react to change as calmly as Jessie does.  On Thursday, her first official day, she did great.  The kinders here go all day, and school days are Monday through Thursday for the whole school.  On Friday, (they went on Friday, since Monday was a holiday) she started sobbing her head off the moment she saw me, telling me that she missed me and wanted me to stay by her side every waking moment.  Obviously that couldn’t happen, but we talked, I let her know that I missed her too, and that it’s ok to miss people when they are away.  Fast forward to today.  School is from 8:15 to 3:15.  My girls get on the bus around 7:30 and get home around 3:40.  It’s a long day for them.  They get up around 6 or 6:15 to get ready (they are pretty slow at getting ready, that’s why it’s so early) and off they go.  Jennie’s teacher phoned me today around 3:30 to let me know Jennie had a melt down.  I felt so bad for the teacher, and really bad for Jennie.  The teacher of course, let me know that this is normal, and that she’s probably just tired, but she felt it was important that I was aware of why she was crying when she got home.  I very much appreciated that, communication is very important to me.  We talked a bit about some solutions, and the new bedtime is going to be 6:45 rather than 7:30 for Jennie.  And she suggested that I come and pick Jennie up from school rather than ride the bus, and maybe come a few minutes early, for a little while, to help her get adjusted.  I think this is a good idea, and will start picking her up tomorrow. 

I have been knitting in the meantime too.  I have finished an Irish Hiking Scarf, and am working on a multidirectional scarf now.  The IHS was made from some old red heart acrylic I found, so that I could practice cables on something that didn’t matter if it got all boogered up.  Turns out I’m not too bad at cables, and I really like them!  The multidirectional scarf is made from some sock yarn I have had for a while that has lost it’s label somewhere along the way.  My oldest daughter has claimed the IHS and my mom has claimed the multidirectional.  For some reason I’m on a huge scarf kick lately.  If you know of any cool patterns BRINT IT!

I read a great book yesterday called A Thousand Splendid Suns, by the same author that wrote  The Kite Runner.  It was great.  I started it yesterday, and couldn’t put it down, so I finished it yesterday.  And I LOVED IT.  Then today I read a REALLY good book called Snow Flower and the Secret Fan.  LOVED that book.  I started it this morning and read straight through until about 2.  It’s not a very big book, and a great read.  I highly recommend it.